Raunch
Bishops of Bastard Presents: Raunch & Righteous Sex (alternative also known as Righteous Sex) is a spec script for a webcomic created by Darnell Deepwell and written by Mickey Random. This installment of the series follows Pia Arrabo as he continues his downward spiral into madness. Much of the story takes place during ''Bishops of Bastard Foremost Part 8'' where Pia Arrabo begins to secretly serve Lord Dagon and moves to create an heir to succeed him on earth when he takes the throne of Invisibase. Like his father before him, Pia hopes to create a being using Universal Powers to achieve his goals. But Pia finds himself torn between his loyalties to Lord Dagon, The Magistrate, the Sages and the Church. In the earth year 1989, Pia meets a young woman named Alema Gindo and manipulates her into helping him carry out his wicked plot. __TOC__ Plot Cardinal Pia Arrabo and his mistress the Magistrate sneak back into Invisibase so that Pia can steal the Universal Powers of Chaos, Havoc, Peace and Order to create a celestial being that will destroy the Lumi-Visian Sages. After Pia and Magistrate depart, Father Dios Marinus of the Celestial Authorities Forces informs the Sages that Moloch’s servant Abaz is alive and on earth searching for a Su-Naru giant. Jolen-Heli seeks help from Dagon so that they can track down Abaz. Dagon tells his son Mot about Abaz and Mot tells Pia. Although Pia is not on good terms with his father, he agrees to listen to what the lead Sage has to say. After hearing Jolen out, Pia thinks taking down Abaz will restore the Sages’ faith in his abilities, but Jolen tells Pia to assemble his Congregation, because a group effort is needed to finish the job. Pia and his crew (Dios, Anonymous, Anonymiss, The Magistrate, The Bomb, The Primeit and Harry Derpsloski) head to earth where they pay a visit to the Holy Father Church located in Fez, Morocco. The current Arch Bishop and his Bishops are scattered around the globe hunting the Hæysux. Pia finds a clipping from a French newspaper with a headline stating that a software company called Bright Star Worldwide is under investigation for fraud and occult activities. He concludes that Bright Star is Abaz’s employer. The crew moves to Paris, France to begin their search for Abaz. They track down a servant of Abaz, a lower legionnaire named Frank, at an electronics convention. The chase leads Pia and the others to a beauty pageant immediately followed by a masquerade ball. While looking for Frank, Pia meets a college student named Alema Gindo. Pia is infatuated with the 21 year old Miss Ethiopia and begins courting her. Alema rejects all of Pia’s advances and meets with her internship coordinator outside, who just happens to be Frank. Frank tries to kill Alema, but Pia kills Frank and saves her life. Alema then tells Pia that some college girls who do internships at Bright Star turn up missing. Pia believes that the Hæysux legionnaires in human guise are luring in the young interns so that they can kill them and sacrifice them to Moloch. Pia asks Alema if he can go to her job site. Alema points out her boss, Bright Star CEO Oliver Norton, who just happens to be Abaz. Since Oliver is already under investigation for fraud, the crew decides to break into Bright Star and get proof that Abaz is helping himself to the clients’ margin accounts. While the others proceed with the plan, Pia and Alema begin a secret relationship, which Magistrate exposes after she follows Pia and Alema back to Alema’s apartment where they have sex. Pia reassures Magistrate that Alema is only a means to an end and that his love is only to the Magistrate and his loyalty is only to Dagon. After Dios, Anonymous and Anonymiss get the information on the client accounts, Abaz discovers that Alema is working with Pia and kidnaps Alema. Abaz sends the crew a VHS tape saying he will kill Alema if they don’t back off. With Alema taken captive, Pia can’t risk going after Abaz. He tells Harry that he’s aborting the mission and that he’s returning home to tell his father the truth about what really happened regarding the Universal Library’s breech in security. After Dagon arrives to check on the team’s progress, he tells the crew what Abaz is really after. It turns out that Abaz isn’t going to kill Alema. He’s really after Pia. The team discovers Abaz’s location in the French Alps and take Dios’ ship there. While Pia confesses to his father, the team realizes that the Su-Naru giant is buried beneath the mountain range and Abaz needs the Universal Powers of Freedom and Endurance to free the primordial beast. When Jolen hears that the Su-Naru giant has been found, he gives Pia the Blade of Anonymous and tells Pia to slay the giant. The other two Sages feel that giving Pia the Blade is a mistake. But Jolen has faith that Pia will obey and bring down the giant. When the giant Toqeph Le-Heet Ha’Lek senses the Universal Powers of Justice and Law (Magistrate and Dios, respectively), the giant thinks Abaz has brought Lumi-Visians to earth to slay him. Le-Heet, using his deadly eye beams to obliterate Abaz. Pia arrives just in time to save Alema and takes on the wakened giant using the Blade. The crew tries to help Pia, but the giant’s eye beams nearly destroy Dios’ ship. Anonymous and Anonymiss fly in and ram the giant with the Anonymous Mothership, but the ship’s hull is breached after the giant’s eye beams strike the starboard bow. Anonymiss is sucked out and before Anonymous can save her, she is vanquished by the giant’s eye beams. Pia flies in a pierces the giant’s cranium with the Blade, destroying him. Le-Heet’s Universal Power is Communication and it spreads all throughout the earth, creating a mesh-like energy field over the entire realm, i.e. a “world wide web”. Pia is caught in a violent glacier shift. With help from the Bomb, Harry pulls Pia from the avalanche, saving his life. With Abaz gone and the giant dead, the Congregation goes their separate ways. Before Harry departs, Pia gives Harry a cellular telephone so that they can stay in contact. When asked where he will go, Harry says that he has “family” in the United States and plans to spend the remainder of his existence there. Pia and Alema are deeply in love and plan on moving forward with their relationship. Pia asks Alema if she wants to become immortal. Alema says yes. But Pia only needs Alema’s womb to create a child. After opening a portal to Invisibase, Alema asks Pia, “Does that lead to heaven?” But Pia only takes her by the hand and they enter the warp, leaving their fates unknown. In the city of Cankerton, a high speed chase ensues. Harry and Gene are being chased by Colonel Fishmeal and his men. Someone driving an 18-wheeler crushes Harry’s Trans-Am, killing him. The driver turns out to be the current Arch Bishop Karim Sale-Zaer. He uses Harry’s cellular telephone to call Pia saying that he knows that Pia is planning to overthrow the Sages and throws the cellular telephone away, breaking it. Quotes DAGON: How did you get in here, light-face? JOLEN: The realm is open like a hooker’s legs. Anonymiss sees Mot approaching in his human guise. ANONYMISS: Who invited the Mullet Demon? Pia confronts the Bomb aboard the Barga. PIA: We need your help, Captain. BOMB: No. You need to come clean about what you did with the Cipher. PIA: And you need to get up off your ass, stop being a bum and help us out. BOMB: You’re a traitor. (moves to his work table) What do I care if that giant walks the dog on all of you? PIA: Because that giant is going to walk the dog on you too, and all the sweet, unconquered co-ed poon tang that you have yet to dive into. BOMB: Like I said before, always willing to help a fellow celestial. DIOS: Your Eminence. Are you really sleeping with…? PIA: Drop it, Father. DIOS: Your Eminence, we can handle the truth. PIA: Look, you guys are like my sons. Your mother was willing to help make you both. Now she thinks we’re married or something. DIOS: She can be overbearing, but for good reasons. ANONYMOUS: Overbearing? She’s a controlling, nagging old wench. She’d probably screw us too. PIA: I wouldn’t put it past her either. To tell you the truth, she isn’t even good in bed. DIOS: So the truth finally comes out. ANONYMOUS: Better that than the other theory. PIA: What other theory? ANONYMOUS: Dios thought that you and Primeit were having some “baboon on bishop” action. DIOS: No offense. I just didn’t want to picture you banging my mom. PIA: Neither did I. But, hey—shit happens. MAGISTRATE: (static over radio) I can hear everything you dumbasses are saying. Outside, Magistrate lowers her walkie-talkie from her mask. '' MAGISTRATE: (asks Anonymiss) See what I have to deal with? ANONYMISS: You are scandalous. PRIMEIT: What exactly is “baboon on bishop” action? ''Pia approaches some beauty pageant contestants. PIA: Excuse me. I’m looking for Miss Junior Ethiopia. The pageant contestants look at each other and laugh. MISS JUNIOR HAITI: You have got to work on your game, honey. MISS JUNIOR CUBA: That opening line of yours is wiggity wack. PIA: What is this ‘wiggity wack’? The contestants burst into laughter again. MISS JUNIOR TRINIDAD: She’s over there. '' ''Pia sees Miss Junior Ethiopia talking with Frank. MISS JUNIOR TRINIDAD: Her name is Alema. MISS JUNIOR HAITI: She’s a business major. MISS JUNIOR CUBA: And she loves religious guys. PIA: Thank you. Pia leaves. The pageant contestants all frown. MISS JUNIOR TRINIDAD: I hope he rapes her. MISS JUNIOR HAITI: I hope he gives her AIDS. MISS JUNIOR CUBA: I hope he’s a serial killer. Magistrate attacks Pia after discovering Pia’s relationship with Alema. PIA: What is it with you?! MAGISTRATE: You are unbelievable! PIA: What did I do? MAGISTRATE: She gave you her telephone number! I know what that means! PIA: My loyalty is to you. MAGISTRATE: Your father told me the same thing five-hundred years ago. He came here on a mission too, but ended up putting my heart on a roulette-style wheel to throw daggers at it. He denied what he was up to, until I confronted him. He was standing before me just as you are, looking like a blank puzzle and every blank represented a letter of a three word phrase that he could never bring himself to say to me. So you know what I did? ANONYMOUS: You asked to buy a vowel? Magistrate aims at Anonymous, but only blasts the railing he once stood in front of. ANONYMOUS: Can I solve the puzzle? Characters *Pia Arrabo – Celestial Cardinal seeking to capture the throne of Invisibase *Alema Gindo – Ethiopian model majoring in business and Pia’s love interest *Captain Seren – son of Dyno-Might aka The Bomb *Sirius Stoutkong – Babodrill Arch Bishop, aka The Primeit *Father Dios – Head of the Celestial Authorities Forces, creation of Pia Arrabo *Anonymous – Mass Noun Agent, brother of Dios, creation of Pia Arrabo *Anonymiss – Wife of Anonymous, created by Anonymous *The Magistrate – Jolen’s former Lumi-Visian mistress, mother of Dios and Anonymous *Harry Derpsloski – Lord Mot’s human identity and close friend of Pia *Dagon – Hæysux overlord, father of Harry/Mot *Oliver Norton – CEO of software Company Bright Star Worldwide *Frank – Works under Oliver as a internship coordinator for Bright Star *Le-Heet Ha'Lek – Su-Naru giant who is the Universal Power of Communication *Jolen-Heli – Lumi-Visian Sage of Wisdom *Tama-Cider – Lumi-Visian Sage of Knowledge, Jolen’s older brother *Muta-Ramah – Lumi-Visian Sage of Understanding, Jolen’s younger sister *General Dyno-Might – Leader of the Denzenhut people *Agar – Tama-Cider’s oldest son *Zelpha – Tama-Cider’s middle son *Urias – Tama-Cider’s youngest son *Tabita – Muta-Ramah’s daughter *Karim Sale-Zaer – Arch Bishop of the Holy Father Chruch Raunch & Righteous Sex Gallery Righteous-6-title.jpg|Title Card Rr6-sm.png|Title Graphic righteous-6-poster-1-MED.jpg righteous-6-poster-2-MED.jpg righteous-6-poster-3-MED.jpg righteous-6-poster-4-MED.jpg ---- ---- Category:Bishops of Bastard Presents The Raunch and the Righteous